Entry 13: The Holiday Blues

It is that time of the year again where people return home to spend the holidays with their family and loved ones. As for me, there is no such thing as a holiday. For me it means that I'll be working while people are celebrating. It sucks but I'm pretty used to it by now. Hopefully next year, the economy will pick up and by Christmas, I will have the kind of schedule I want. As for me, I guess I'll just have to accept things the way they are and be happy that at least other people can enjoy the comfort of the holidays.

The only thing that annoys me about this season is the weather. Every day, there is crappy weather somewhere in the US. Because of the holidays people have to fly and it's a pain because of the all the delays. From my perspective, I can expect packed flights, anxious passengers, long workhours and cold weather. Not any of the things I look forward to. I was hoping to return to Philly this weekend but I'm rethinking it because I don't want to deal with any flight deviations especially being on standby. I'm happy to be living in Southern California where the weather is usually nice except for the occasional low clouds and rain.

Right now, I'm getting my life back on track. Unfortunately, I didn't get the position at work that I applied for. The whole thing ended up being a popularity contest and I didn't get enough votes to be elected into the position. It's fine though because I was prepared for it. Hopefully I'll be granted part-time status by February so that I'll have more free time. I'm going to take classes in a community college in Palm Desert for the Spring Semester. I already have 16 credits registered and hopefully I'll be able to keep it up. I am not at all excited about it because 1) I'll be a 22 year old freshman! 2) I hate school 3) I won't have time to travel.

I'm tired of defending the decisions and choices I've made thus far in my life. It's mainly the older generation like my dad, that believe that I should have a good education and make something of myself. I spent a good hour debating with the college counselor about what I want to do with my life. I told him I just want to settle with an Associate's degree in Business Management and Supervision. He felt that I should move on to get a Bachelor's because I'm a smart kid and I'm fully capable of it. I know I'm smart but I'm not book-smart. I hate reading and learning all of the unnecessary subjects that they force us to learn. And I refuse to accept that crap talk about some day we would need it or we might use it. Well, how about I stop wasting my time and money learning something I MIGHT use and let me learn something I WILL use. So eventually, Mr. P.H.D. in psychology gave up because he knew I was right and I was on my way.

Just recently on one of my flights, an elderly lady told me that I could do better. "Excuse me?" That's what I told her. I think she was referring to this job as one that doesn't require much intelligence and I was young and too good for it. Well I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm happy with this job. This may not be the most flattering job for a guy like me but it's providing me with the life experience that I can't find anywhere else. It's true that a majority of the job is for flamboyant gay guys, old people and ditzy girls with big boobs but I shouldn't be judged based on my job title. One thing that I've always been proud of is that I'm not a part of any stereotype. As a guy, I'm not masculine, into sports, cars and having sex. As an Asian, I'm not obedient, well-mannered, book-smart or quiet. I'm my own individual and I feel like I have to fight with everyone I meet just to prove that. No wonder I'm defensive and anti-social.

Well despite all the obstacles I'm facing, life is pretty good. My life here in California is starting to become the one that I've always imagined. I might not know what I'll be doing 2 years from now or where I'll be living but I do know that I'm going to make something of myself. Best believe that!